Funny WhatsApp Status Quotes to Make others Laugh [Updated DEC, 2018]

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Funny WhatsApp Status to Make others Laugh [Updated OCT, 2018]

1.     Never steal. The government hates competition.
2.     If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.
3.     Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
4.     Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.
5.     Hmmmm…..Don’t copy my status.
6.     1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d.
7.     light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak.
8.     Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
9.     life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
10.     Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
11.     This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.
12.     we live in the era of smart people and stupid people.
13.     Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
14.     The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.
15.     Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience.
16.     A lie is just a great story ruined by truth.
17.     Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
18.     Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.
19.     Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
20.     we men want the same thing from women that we want from underwear.Some support and some freedom.
21.     DON’T HIT KIDS!!! No, seriously, they have guns now.
22.     A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
23.     Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.
24.     If I’ve learnt anything from mayans then it’s that  ..Not finishing a project is not the end of world.
25.     Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get. ];
26.     I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
27.     An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.
28.     When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted.
29.     If you can’t get someone out of your head, .. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3
30.     When I Show you a picture on my phone..don’t swipe left.don’t swipe right.Just look.
31.     I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!
32.     Hey,you are reading my status again??
33.     I ran into my ex today…put it in reverse and did it again!!!
34.     I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.
35.     I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better 😀
36.     Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???
37.     All guys hate the words DON’T and STOP unless they’re put together.
38.     I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day ?
39.     Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
40.     Everybody is so happy….I hate that.
41.     Do not drink and drive or you might spill the drink.
42.     Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.
43.     Save paper, don’t do home work.
44.     Don’t get a man(\woman) ,get a dog …they are loyal and they die sooner.
45.     Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. It always gets laughs!
46.     When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!
47.     Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. It always gets laughs!
48.     In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.
49.     I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )
50.     A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!
51.     Life is Short – Eat Fast!
52.     Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation. :-p
53.     I wish my book of life was written in pencil … There are a few pages I would like to erase.
54.     It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper.
55.     Why do stores that are open 24/7 have locks on their doors?
56.     WARNING!! I know Boxing …..and some other words!!!
57.     It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
58.     Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.
59.     If common sense is so common why is there so many people with out it??
60.     My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
61.     When nothing goes right, Go left.
62.     My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(
63.     Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
64.     Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
65.     It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
66.     I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
67.     Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
68.     They love their hair because they’re not smart enough to love something more interesting.
69.     A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
70.     If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
71.     A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
72.     That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
73.     If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.
74.     After getting drunk, Bachelor of Technology turns into Master of Philosophy.
75.     When you can’t marry the one you love, :'( marry the one who is rich !! 😛
76.     A women saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing”.
77.     Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
78.     I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
79.     A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad. 😀
80.     Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
81.     People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
82.     I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
83.     Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
84.     If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.
85.     Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
86.     I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

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