75 Funny WhatsApp Status Quotes (2018)

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Now you know about WhatsApp and how to add a funny status.  Hopefully, our list has gotten a chuckle or two. Try some of our suggestions and see how they go over with your friends.  Enjoy!

 75 Funny WhatsApp Status Quotes (2018)

1. Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
2. I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
3. Hey there, WhatsApp is using me.
4. I like to stay in bed. It’s too ‘people-y’ outside.
5. I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept.
6. I’m naturally funny because my whole life is a joke.
7. Be nice to nerds, they will be your boss one day.
8. I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”
9. Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes but if I’m not just read this message again.
10. If people are talking behind your back,  that’s a good time to fart.
11. I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
12. I’m not lazy. I’m just on battery saver mode.
13. Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you.
14. If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of car payments.
15. Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.
16. Your WhatsApp status says “online.” If you’re online, why aren’t you texting me?
17. Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
18. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
19. I salute all my haters with my middle finger.
20. Me? Sarcastic? Never.
21. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
22. I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition.
23. You smell like hidden motives, get away from me.
24. We aren’t friends until we start insulting each other on a daily basis.
25. Your body is allergic to some people. Know how to read the signs.
26. You’re weird. I like you.
27. Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
28. I’m in shape. “Potato” is a shape.
29. You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison.
30. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
31. Can we please go back to the main menu of life? I think I accidentally chose “impossible” mode.
32. I’m not fat, I’m fluffy.
33. Status unavailable. Please try and reload again.
34. I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
35. “I’m going to bed” really means…” I’m going to lie in my bed and go on my phone.”
36. God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
37. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
38. I’m not short, I’m a people Nugget.
39. The police called and said one of my friends escaped from the mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up?
40. I’m so tired, my tired is tired.
41. Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
42. You seem to be on your own path. Unfortunately, there’s a “socio” in front of it.
43. Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they’re dealing with.
44. You think I’m cute when I’m mad? Well, buckle up sweet cheeks—I’m about to get freakin’ adorable.
45. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
46. Be smarter than your smartphone.
47. I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it.
48. I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
49. Warning! I know karate… and some other words.
50. I don’t think my iPhone is working. I pressed the home button, but I’m still here.
51. I don’t have a girlfriend, but I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that.
52. I have 3 kids and no money, why I can’t I have no kids and 3 money?
53. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
54. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and terrified, like the passengers in his car.
55. Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I sure do.
56. I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.
57. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
58. My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly “we need to talk”.
59. If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.
60. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
61. TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
62. I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
63. Sleep is my drug….my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.
64. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
65. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
66. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
67. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
68. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don’t even own bikes!
69. I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
70. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
71. There is no “i” in denial.
72. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
73. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
74. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
75. I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.